Here comes the...ah, fuck it.

With engagement season in full swing (have you checked your Facebook newsfeed lately?), it's time for a much needed reflection:

Oh my gawd, if you aren't getting married (and oh please, even if you are), stop planning your wedding on Pinterest! You do realize you're part of a trend, right? Sun burst engagement photos with you and yours holding hands against a brick wall? (Oh, sorry, are you sitting on antique-ish steps, making a heart shape with your hands, or looking up at him as he looks away? You're right. Totally original). Mason jars holding flowers, candles, breath mints...? Throwing up a little in my mouth every time I see a new pin in this genre?

I realize you are oh-my-gawd so excited about this oh-my-gawd so special time in your life, but please. All the rest of us really want to see is the ring, people! Put up a pic of the happy couple, flash a smile, and then show us a close up of that little round symbol of never-ending (you'll probably hear something similar - but way less cynical - in your ceremony). That's what we're going to judge you on, anyways. Quit littering Facebook. I will block your posts if you keep this up. Upon further reflection, I'm going to go do that to a couple people right now...

Back. I think I mentioned in an earlier post that I'm way funnier when I'm pissy (I may have said bitter, but whatevs. Same diff). Do I wish I was planning a wedding right now? Not really. One day, yes, but not with this current go-round of every-wedding-looks-the-same. Do I wish you weren't simply because oh-my-gawd you're so annoying about it? Yes. Most definitely.

I guess it's just that nowadays, with all this digital age, Internet shit, I can no longer avoid that which I don't wish to see, and people have the opportunity to publicize every thought that pops into their heads. Yes, I could not get on Facebook or Pinterest. I could just look past it, or block the users whose lame-o posts I don't want to see. But let's be honest, I love FB and Pinterest. They're fun. And sure, you have the same rights as I do as to posting on them. But please, for the love of all things brown and pink (or gray and yellow...I think that's the current color combo fad phase), realize you are being fucking annoying (feel free to embrace it, though. I'm all about embracing it). Think about something else for five minutes and post about that once in a while.

P.S. If you are engaged and you are not being ridic annoying about it, thank you. I'm really happy for you and I hope this time is sweetly special.