Sigh no more, no more.

I hate the term "hubby."

Hubby. Is that short for Hubble,

the telescope?

There. Got it out. I've been holding that one in for a long time. Facebook post after Facebook post about "my hubby" makes me puke - I envision a little squealing five-year old dragging a teddy bear around the house. But seriously, where did that term come from? Why do people use it? If you're really shortening husband, shouldn't it be "husby?" I really am all for nicknames. I have a couple myself. I use them frequently. They are endearing and cute. But "hubby?" Really? Put it in a circle and draw a line through it.

I feel like I've started this entry off on the wrong foot. I set out to write about one view of what it's like to be 27 and unmarried in a world of "I got married at 22" (seriously. Pretty much all my friends got married at that age, including my sister). And then I saw the word hubby and puked up some shoelaces (ok, I didn't really puke up shoelaces. That would mean I would have eaten shoelaces, which I have not). Let's start again...

The sad, single, late-twenties gal is an overplayed stereotype in ABC Family movies. I think those movies suck, as do most rom-coms that have a slightly nerdy, but really smart, witty brunette getting the guy instead of some ditzy blonde. Real life isn't like that, and I think sappy movies are, well, shit. I don't do sap. I don't see myself as that girl, so I'm not sure who I'm supposed to identify with. Let's try portraying how things really are. Real life as an unmarried person can really suck sometimes in ways ABC Family doesn't write into their story lines. If they did, it would include some of the following:

The TV viewer would see that help is scarce. There is no backup. If I forget to pick up milk on the way home, guess who gets to go back out and get the milk? (Hint: it's not my hubby). If there are three things that need to get done, there is no divvying up the tasks. One person always does the laundry, folds the laundry, puts the laundry away. And cooks, cleans, makes and keeps a budget, takes care of the car maintenance...all those mundane tasks. If you're tired or depressed or worn out, guess what? That shit still has to get done and you're the one to do it. (The angry part in me now wants to flick off anyone who has someone with whom to share those responsibilities, and yell something along the lines of "do it yourself for a while and see how you like it!" Especially to those who take it for granted. If I hear one more, "I'll wait till so-and-so gets home and he can do it" I'm going to throw my shoes at them.) Remember that some people don't have that luxury and be grateful. (And try doing it your-damn-self.)

Furthermore, there is no emotional backup. There is no sharing of anxieties, no sharing of the burden. In the same koi pond, there is no emotional sharing of the joys either. I do have wonderful friends who are close to my heart and with whom I share. But when it comes down to brass tacks (or tax), it's hard. It really is, especially the older I get and the more there is to deal with.

And then there are the little things: "Hi honey, how was your day?" and hug, hug, kiss, kiss. Talking in bed before you fall asleep. Gosh, just having another warm body in bed. I've never liked to sleep alone. When my sister decided she was old enough to have her own room, I would get up in the middle of the night and get in bed with her (our parents put us back in the same room shortly after I started that. Booyah!). Snuggling on a couch. Having little traditions, things that are "yours." Having someone to go home to, to eat dinner with. Having someone to share things with on a level deeper than your roommate.

Plus, with marriage being the only privileged relationship in society, there is a certain second class status that gets assigned to anyone over 23 who isn't married. Ok, you might get away with being 24, but please be married by 25. Otherwise we don't know what to do with you and your legitimacy as a human will be in question. My parents thought it was totally fine for me at the age of 25 to sleep on a sofa in the middle of the Thanksgiving gathering. I had to cry and pitch a little fit in order to get a room, and even then I shared with my sister and brother-in-law. Restaurant and movie deals are for two, not one or three. And just try getting your married girl friends to do those things with you instead of their husbies. Second.

I'm not saying marriage is all sugar cookies and egg nog. I've seen it at amazing and at really sucky. I'm not even saying that marriage doesn't need or deserve special attention and care. It does. I know how hard relationships are, and I know how much harder intimate relationships are. I also realize there are upsides to my current relationship status. I am able to spend my money how I want. I get to spend the holidays with my family or whoever I choose. I have the final say in all decisions and it's easier to compromise with myself than with someone else. I'm just saying... I'm just saying don't take having a life partner for granted. Don't underestimate the miracle that is someone loving you and wanting, committing, to do life with you. Enjoy it if you have it. And be aware of how not awesome "we" speech can be to an "I."