One of the side effects of working with all women (essentially) is bonding through sharing news about our lives and the lives of the others (yes, this could also be called gossip). Some of it isn't so nice ("oh my gosh, you could see her underwear THROUGH HER DRESS"), but most of it is just sharing the happenings of our lives. Which is why my excursion into the realm of online dating is no secret. It's okay, really; I think it's funny to get everyone's perspective and to hear their own tales of awkward dates. It's even more okay because my boss is also female and wants the details. Which is how the following conversation happened:
Boss: Ooo, so what ever happened with that guy?
Me: Oh. He turned out to be kind of a douche.
Boss: Really?? What happened?
Me: I'm not sure, but he ultimately seemed only interested in talking about being physical. Not so much about "how was your day?" or "what do you do?" I mean, physical stuff is fine and good but I need dinner and a conversation first, you know?
Boss (mumbles something about men only thinking with their penises): "I'm convinced that only 15% of men are actually good men. You know? Like actually good men. I think I married one, but I definitely haven't dated them. Jim, did your daughters marry in the 15%?"
Jim (the part time finance guy who happened to walk around the corner at that moment. Jim has 3 married daughters): Nope. I don't even think they think did.
Me: Yeah, 15% might be a little high.
In this uphill part of life's journey, the party certainly has taken a turn for the douche. At first it was the perfect party; now there's just a lot of Ed Hardy. Seriously. In recent years of counseling I've realized that I've basically held the belief that men are stupid ass hats who care nothing about anyone but themselves (which seems to be all that is expected of them). But I think my boss may have been on to something. I know men in the 15% - my male friends, some family members, etc - and I have hope that every man can be in that 15%. How do we define good, though? Is it relative? Subjective? I'm attracted to humor and intelligence, but I don't think that makes someone good. I think goodness in part is humility and honesty and caring about other people; it's listening and remembering what someone says. It's kindness and generosity and fidelity. So yeah, if that's my definition, then there really are probably only about 15%. I don't know what the % would be for women - probably not much higher, to be honest - but I'm not dating women so I'm not worried with that statistic.
So perhaps this is the breakdown: if 15% are good, 30% are probably decent (they might not care, but they won't steal your purse and probably won't let someone else steal it), 20% are average (they don't care and they won't stop someone from stealing your purse), and the last 35% are just douche bags.
Which leads to my shout out to Sue Lundeen for saying "douche" at the baby shower today when she asked about Old Gregg. You're my favorite, Sue-Sue.
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