"It is my right as an American to go to South Beach and be a douche"

I don't know if I've made it clear how deep my love for Anthony Bourdain goes. He is essentially what I love about humanity. Maybe more correct would be to say that he embodies what I love about humanity. Kind, caring, interesting, interested, adventurous, no holds barred and nothing held back. Crude but not rude. Open and honest and welcoming of all different people - and their weird habits and even more weird foods. I'm also not sure if I've made it well enough known that I have a thing for intelligent-looking, salt-and-pepper haired men in their forties. Everyone has their thing.

I'm watching this show on the Discovery Channel called Naked and Afraid. (Oh yeah, this has nothing to do with Tony). The premise is one guy and one girl are dropped buck naked (butt naked? I've never really known which is correct) into the jungle and left to survive for 21 days. All it has confirmed is the stereotype that while willing to kill deadly creatures, men are essentially mental inappropriate-p-words and that women, whiney though they be, will eventually be the ones who get shit done. Oh yeah, and men hunt while women cook the spoils. I'm not sure what to learn from that except perhaps I should carry a machete in case I come across a venomous snake or need to chop up a turtle to eat. I probably also need learn how to start a fire without matches.

I think I've hit a quarter-life crisis. Technically that would mean I live to be over 100 which is not my goal, but in any case, I saw this online. While none of those things apply to me (so maybe it's not the ideal example), I do feel like my life is kind of stale these days. I know money doesn't buy happiness but it does allow you to go places and do things that are fun and new. It's not that I don't do fun things - I love jiujitsu! - or have fun people in my life, I just... I want a yard because I miss yard work. And I know I need to be internally at peace first because everything else comes from that, but... I kind of am and I still get bored. Is there a solution? Am I looking in the wrong places? Is Jesus somehow the answer? (and I ask that only half-sarcastically).

This is essentially the only point in that Buzzfeed that was helpful:

"Adulthood means finding your [real] identity. In high school and college, your identity is mostly drawn up for you like a paint by number: your grades, your major, your career plans, your extracurricular activities. But post-college, your identity is an empty moleskine, and your job is to ascertain who you are and to fucking fill that book up. You might end up with scribbled-out pages and plots that go woefully unresolved, but as [Andrea, author of the upcoming quote] Robbins says: 'At some point in your life, you are going to have to confront yourself. You might as well do it now.' "

I'm comfortable and well-versed in confronting my internal self but I still have vestiges of fear doing external things that are outside of my normally scheduled program. So. Whether I have someone to do it with or whether anyone else gives a shit, I'm going to do stuff. Because I want to and I'm not going to wait on someone else to catch the f- up (I actually screened that word for Sarah G. because I love and respect her. And perhaps there is some weird child out there who googled "annadeering.blogspot.com" for kicks one day and found my blog and now is corrupted because I frequently curse. More the former, though).

Surprisingly unhelpful.

Thing 1: I hope [the guy you're dating] sticks around because you would make a good mom.
Thing 2: You should have kids now because it'll be harder in your thirties.

Surprisingly, those comments were not helpful.

I got both those tidbits this past week. Talk about not awesome. I mean, thanks for thinking I'll be a good mom. That's nice. But I could also be a good mom with someone else or without a spouse or without the guy I'm dating. How about, I hope the guy you're dating sticks around because you seem to like him and I want you to be happy and loved. And it might be biologically more difficult to have children when you're older but modern medicine seems to have made some significant strides in that area. How about, I hope you fall in love and have beautiful healthy babies if that's what you want - some day, at the right time for you.

Or, you know, just keep rushing me with your opinions and agendas. Either way.

Tea cups'll make ya drink drink!

I like the polka dot ones

Communication is like tea cups. Those over there are 5 tea cups; one is probably an extra in case someone forgets to bring theirs. I suppose you could use any cup - a Tervis tumbler, a wine glass, a plastic 32oz stadium cup. Tea cups are way cuter, though. And more fragile, just like communication...Boom! Metaphor!

Tea cup #1 is empty. It is open and ready to be filled with what the other person is saying. To receive as an empty slate, without your own dregs swilling about, what the other person has to say.

Tea cup #2 is cracked. It can still hold what fills it, but it will slowly leak out upon the iPad or the iPhone screen or the TV remote or the whatever-it-is-that-distracts-you. You can get the gist of what's going on, but some of it will trickle out.

Tea cup #3 is upside down. Not open for business. No tea here. This cup's taken.

Tea cup #4 is full of your own tea. This doesn't leave room for someone else to pour something in, nor does it allow an open place to receive what they're giving. Your own tea will push theirs around, interpret what they're pouring in through your already-full cup. The grinds at the bottom of your cup will influence - flavor, if you will - what you think about their tea.

That is just something I learned recently in my westsidetalkitout that I thought I would pass on. Plus I wanted to use a picture of tea cups because I think they're pretty. What I really want to say is completely unrelated: I miss my family!! I've lived away from them for years now but it has been this year in particular that I've felt like, enough - move closer. I miss my sister and my niece and even that stupid boy she married. He's actually really funny and fun to hang out. Plus he went out in 2 feet of snow to buy me Advil Congestion Relief. And I miss my parents, and it's Father's Day and I usually I'm all like hey, a phone call is great, but this year I want to hang out with my Popsie. Maybe make something or work on the house or in the yard. I am incredibly grateful that I have family in Georgia who I can visit, and I have friends in the city who I love dearly and who take the edge off. Still. Come holiday season this fall, I will be ready to eat my family alive. Which actually might prevent me seeing them in the future. I'll rethink that.

"I don't think the badger is actually rabid, I just think he's kind of a dick."

New Girl is hysterical. Anyhow, lately:

Jam.

I HATE COOKING. It's a deep and utter loathing, but it must be done so I begrudge the bitch and do it. But I do like it when you just put everything into one pot or pan and let it cook and voila! Things like jam happen:

Strawberries and blueberries, oh my!

Crafty.

I've had this dresser since undergrad. My dad bought it for me when I went off to FSU. I painted it white and painted the knobs all kinds of fun ways. Now I need a place to store my sewing and crafty things (and, let's be honest, there's not much redecorating or furniture moving in a small apartment. I gotta do something).

Drawers be gone!

My goal is to add (a) cabinet door(s) to the front and leave that little middle section open. The accent color is going to be gold and I am trying to figure out how to adhere something shiny to the back of it. It's that MDF stuff but so far none of my sticky stuffs have stuck stuff to it...a challenge I am willing to accept.

Work.

People say the darndest things and while a lot of it makes me want to punch something, some of it is really funny:

#21 reads, State reason(s) why you
cannot afford hearing aids. 

Most people say they don't have the money. That response is definitely the most unique answer I've seen for that question.

Home.

I really love my home. I really love it. I become a 2-year old without a nap when I'm away from it too long; i.e. I need decompress time with my home. My home is a one bedroom apartment and I wish I had more space just so I could do more things. I recently put in a screen outside the porch door so Nora could go in and out and the bugs would just stay out. I'm basically a pro.

Screen! It's Magic Mesh. Boom.

I also have a new power drill and impact driver, thanks to the boy. He found them on sale (2 for the price of 1!) at Home Depot and thought of me. I am that woman who wants a vacuum for her birthday.

Nora.

I love her so much. Getting her is definitely one of the best decision I've made for myself. Even when I wish there was someone else to walk her, I never wish I didn't have her. I always want her with me, even if I'm like, gahhh please just chew on your beef cheek over there by yourself for 5 minutes. She is my closest and most constant companion. 

She also chewed her collar.
I'm choosing to believe she wanted
a wardrobe change and, having no words,
this is how she chose to tell me.