So after Big Country turned out to be full of air (and himself), it was back to the drawing board. The big overwhelming board that is online dating. Being matched with men almost twice your age. Being matched with men almost three times your size. Men who literally list "i am proud to be an American" as one of the three things they are most grateful for. Part of me wishes I was a sociologist with some sort of analytical program to do outcome measuring on the number of men who list outdoors, sports, and physical fitness as their life passions. More than a little part of me wishes I could see what kind of women are on this site. I bet it's just as interesting as the men...
Anyhow, so Big Country was a big bust and I was back to work (because this shit is definitely work). I had it down to another set of three - VW, 39, and K-O - but 39 kind of fell off the list because that's his age, which I failed to realize until we were doing the questions thing and then I went, yeah 39 is a little old for me. 12 years, really? Too much. K-O seems normal, whatever. But VW was the first to jump and ask for my number so we set the first date. For a Tuesday night. At 7:30pm.
And that's when things went to shit.
Tuesday evening he calls to confirm (a welcomed move), but says he's had a hard day at work and wound up leaving later than expected; would I mind pushing it back to 7:45? I say, of course, no problem, let's make it 8pm. Who doesn't understand work getting crazy and leaving late, right? Except now we're pushing my bed time and I'm trying to hold off eating so I'll actually be hungry when I get there, but I'm already hungry and starting to get tired and, well, that's not always a winning combination for me.
So I leave in time to make our (now) 8-o-clock date and as I'm on my way I get a text saying to drive slowly because he's running behind. I don't like late. But there's the benefit of the doubt and all that, so I continue on my way and get there just before 8. I sit on the bench outside the restaurant and wait. And wait. He texts me at 8:07 saying he's five minutes away from leaving. At 8:17 I text him and say I'm heading back to my car and I'm leaving. Text, text, text, text. I'm pissed and leaving long ranting voicemails on friends' phones. And then he texts that he values my time but he lost his job that day and had to pack up his stuff and it took longer than he'd expected...
SERIOUSLY???!!! (yes, that's me yelling).
So now I feel like shit because someone lost their job and that's scary and sad. I feel badly for him, like I should call and ask how he's doing and let him talk it out. But I don't want to do that because I don't know him and he's a big boy - he can call a friend. Instead I just texted how sorry I was and that I would be willing to try again for a second first date. I was a glass case of emotion and I don't like glass cases - not on first dates, which are already stressful enough.
Who has the energy for this stuff?? These are things you go through with your besties, with your people. Not with first dates you don't know. If anything, this online dating process has taught me that I value deep, meaningful relationships and that I actually feel fairly full of deep and meaningful (except for the life partner part). The romantic relationships I have loved being in were with people I knew before dating - I knew who they were and I liked them as people - so this "meet and get to know each other while dating and trying to be awesome" crap is kinda for the birds. It's exhausting. If life's about the journey, this must be an uphill part.
No comments:
Post a Comment