28 going on, like, I don't know...14?

You know that scene in 13 Going On 30 where Jennifer Garner has just woken up as a 30-year old and she sits in her grown-up office and writes on ad mockups with a poofy pen? (If not, I provided a picture). That's kind of how I feel about my life sometimes. Like I look around to find the adult in charge and realize it's me, holding a giant Lisa Frank pencil and some stickers. This seems to be a common feeling recently and I'm starting to wonder if it ever goes away. For instance,

• I now think about long term effects versus short term gains and try to decide the best route to take.
• I listen to the news and try to think how it will impact my personal and professional life - how Medicaid/Medicare changes will affect my patients, how changes to tax law will affect my income...
• I have to sometimes choose between doing something that I want and buying groceries (though sometimes I forgo the groceries and eat rice for a couple days. I'm not that big of a girl).
• I've stopped thinking in terms of a perfect Prince Charming and have started thinking things like, "wow, that is annoying but I really kind of like you anyways" and "seriously?? well...I can live with that." And I look forward to the point in the relationship when we can just eat pizza on the couch in our pajamas.
• I'm in charge of a department and when someone asks to speak to the boss, they transfer that person to me.
• I want my next place to have a yard for my dog and a guest bath/room.
• I have financial goals like "save more" and "pay off debt."
• I have financial goals.

When the hell did this happen?? I'm sure I've had this mindset on some of these things at some point in the past, but it really has only been these last couple years that I've felt...responsible. Wholly responsible. The last word. The final say. I don't have to ask my parents or a grown-up because I am a grown-up.

And then I remember that we consider an 18-year old an adult...yikes.