It's kind of a joke between my bff and me that I say I'm almost 30. I mean, technically I am. I'll be 29 in less than 6 months and then it's just another year until I'm 30. So I am close (but not as close as she is because she's already 29). It's not that I'm freaked out about turning 30; I really think it's just a number. I'm actually kind of look forward to 30. I feel like 30 year olds get respect that people in their late 20s don't. I really wish, though, that my body would realize that we're okay with 30 and not freak the hell out. For example, I am beginning to think the same thoughts more often:
- I swear I used to have more energy than this.
- Shit, I look tired.
- Shit, I am tired. When was the last time I slept through the night?
- Why am I breaking out in random places? (I currently have matching spots on my neck on either side of my jaw bone)
- Why does my stomach randomly hurt?
- I feel puny...I don't really know why or what that means, but I just overall feel yucky.
- I can't figure out what I want to eat. I want pizza. Food is blehh. I'm hungry. I want food, but I'm too tired to get it or eat it. I don't want anything I have.
- Where did this conglomeration of freckles on my cheek come from?
- My back hurts. And my knees. And my shoulders. And my forehead. And the inside of my right elbow.
- How can my face be both dry and an oil slick?
- I feel like I could run farther and faster at one point. And lift more weight. And not be so tired after working out.
But really. What is going on? I don't remember being this weak and puny 10 years ago. I don't remember being this feeble even 3 years ago! I remember drinking waaaay too much in college and waking up the next day with a slight headache. Now I can't even finish a margarita or a glass of wine without thinking, gosh I feel bloated and lightheaded. I could run 8 miles and barely need to stretch. I could run 8 miles and not notice the knee pain. Now I run 3 and my knees ache for the rest of the day. If I stayed up late, I was tired the next day. Not completely bushed for the rest of the week.
I realize that your body changes as you get older but I wasn't expecting to feel like a puny worm this soon. I'm active! I'm at a healthy weight! I have a dog! I like my job! I eat vegetables! I stay out of the sun! (well, more than I used to and I always use sunscreen now). I socialize, I read, I drink at least 8 glasses of water each day, I don't watch too much TV, I try to be in bed by 10, I go to the doctor every year, and I don't abuse any alcohol or substance. I mean, I guess I could eat more vegetables and I know that not sleeping through the night makes me feel crappy. But WTF, body? Am I going to be one of those old people with a sharp-as-a-tack mind but have a gimp leg and no teeth?
Oh shit. Now I remember that I need to go to the dentist.
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