Kitchen Reno, Part 1: The First Stain is the Deepest. And Won't Dry.

The most important news goes above the fold:

Stain is not paint. You have to wipe it off 15 minutes after you apply it. Like all of it. More than you think. It's going to suck. Just go with it.

That could actually sum up everything I want to say about the start of this project, but I am determined to document every sticky, dark walnut-colored moment. So here's what it looked like when I started:

Mmm...yucky.

A close-up of the yuck.

I thought I'd do all the work outside, it would dry, and I would stack it all inside while starting on the next set. Yea. Right. What really happened was I stained the first set of cabinets, left them outside over night, and awoke to sticky cabinets. Because I didn't quite read the instructions and so I didn't wipe off the excess stain. No one mentioned wiping the stain off!! And since I did such extensive research on Pinterest, obviously I knew everything. How many times do I have to ask for things to be explained to me like I'm 5?

So for all the 5-year olds out there...

Sand everything x1000. Forget the sanding bar thing
and use the power sander. Use the little sanding block
for smaller areas and corners.

Open the stain. Notice my awesome can opener and
paint stick. I stirred it the first couple of times and
then gave up. I didn't see anything say I had to, so...

Coat #1. I was so gung-ho at this stage I did two coats.
I quickly switched to one coat after fixing my walnut-colored
sticky boo-boo.

The first cabinet doors done, ready to sit out
all night and get sticky.

I brought the cabinet doors inside that morning before work and they were still sticky after 9 hours, so I googled "I stained my cabinets and they're sticky." At that point, all websites were happy to tell me about the wiping-off-the-excess thing; however, since it had sort of dried and had sat for so long, I had to go back to Lowes, get mineral spirits (sounds like something to mix with cranberry, but it is definitely not), wipe down all of those cabinets I had painted, re-sand them, and then stain them again.

That's a bunch of bullshit, so I did that for 2 of them and found a better method: hairspray. I used my Garnier medium-hold anti-frizz humidity-defying hairspray and sealed up the other six. Minwax should totally include that as an option in the future. You're welcome, Minwax. You're welcome.